Just a question – what happens to all that cute stuff people are always pinning–specifically the stuff that is intended to be a gift for your husband? I mean paper crafts and things of that nature. People who pin these things usually put a comment under it like “He’ll LOVE this!” or “I’m SO doing this for our anniversary.” And I think that’s really cool. But what happens to the item a week later? A month later?
Is it still sitting on the corner of your dining room table, kitchen countertop, or coffee table? What does the husband DO with this item? Is he going to hang up the mushy “subway art” that lists all the reasons you love him in his office at work? Or what? What is your expectation?
I don’t often make that stuff because my expectation is that while my husband would think it was cute/nice/touching, he probably wouldn’t do anything with it after the fact (and I wouldn’t expect him to). I’m making the assumption here that while a lot of women have treasure boxes, drawers or other keepsake collections, guys don’t. Even if I get my husband a nice card and spend a long time writing something touching in it, that card is going to be sitting on the edge of our kitchen counter 3 weeks later, waiting for me to put it somewhere. He’ll read it. He’ll enjoy it. But he isn’t going to squirrel it away for re-reading…nor is he going to display it on his wall or desk or wherever men might display such things. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, but I’m being practical. What is he going to DO WITH IT?
For the sake of my clutter-hating mindset, I try to avoid crafts like these because even as I make them, I wonder what their final resting place will be. Children’s crafts will be different of course (when the time comes). But I’m not 5 years old… so I haven’t a need to have my artwork/crafts taped up in my husband’s office or magneted to our fridge.
If you make things for your spouse, what does he do with them?
Late-20s yuppie, professional techie, terminal student. I probably live farther north than you do. (
The only thing I make for the husband, aside from a few things the kidlet has made him, is food for that very reason. As much as I like sentimental presents, I hate the idea of a present that is useless and/or tough to store. Now I try to stick to things I know he’ll use even if it means sacrificing some emotional aspect of the gift.
In the past, I would end up just throwing them away.
Since I’m dating a girl, though, those things get put in a box for safe keeping. In fact, she even saves the sweet things she does for me in case I want to revisit them, so maybe you could save them and reread them on the days when he insists on painting the kitchen gray (and thus you disagree and find him slightly less favorable–ha!)?!??
I’m not very crafty (clumsy + not especially creative) but when I have made stuff for my husband, it was with the expectation that he was going to throw it out. Maybe I’m just kind of hard-hearted (or we’ve moved too many times), but I don’t really see the point in keeping this sort of stuff.
The important part of the present was the thought, and by giving your husband a lovely craft, card or something similar, he got to enjoy it. Then it’s time to get rid of it, just like you would do if you baked him a cake, right? Your husband got to feel loved and appreciated, and so your mission was accomplished.
That’s a good point. I throw out cards, period. I have saved two cards my husband has gotten me, because he wrote very nice things in them. I also did a scrapbook of our wedding cards, because many people wrote advice and well wishes in those I thought we’d like to look back on later. But aside from those instances, I dump all cards and things like that. Once we enjoy them and the holiday is over, it’s gone!
We usually make each other Christmas cards. Not sure how that tradition started, but we have a small box (like shoebox sized) of notes and cards we’ve given each other.
I’m curious…I’m honestly not sure what kind of crafty things you’re referring to. Although I glaze over when it comes to a lot of things on pinterest, so I could have just ignored such things. For instance, if I see another wreath made out of tulle I’m going to stab my monitor. (No offense, tulle wreath lovers.)
An example: I keep seeing pins of this placard-type thing – like a board where the woman has painted on it reasons she loves her husband. It’s big and square and canvas. And the comments the pinners make under it are things like “For our anniversary!” or “I’m SO making this, adorable!” WTF ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT. Something like that would end up in our basement, wedged behind the furnace.
have you seen the tumblr “stupid shit on pinterest”? what you’ve described makes me think of stuff i’ve seen on there.
I had NOT seen it. Now I have. HAH.
Oh how I love this post. I made my (now) husband a very elaborate card (think scrapbook) for out first dating anniversary. He’s an amazing man for a billion different reasons, but he’s not sentimental. It was a total bust. Once I finally realized I was crafting him things I hoped he would give to me I realized how silly I was being. That said, I haven’t seem a whole bunch of ‘making-this-for-my-hubs’ posts. You should collect them in a practically impractical board for shits and giggles.
Goodness. I really want to. But I also don’t want to hurt the feelings of the people who pin these things seriously, you know?
One Valentine’s Day I made an ABC of reasons I love you garland – each piece was the size of a playing card and had something like A – the Arms you hug me with etc etc. I hung it up in our hallway before I went to work. He enjoyed it, it was cute, but after a few days he asked ‘what should we do with this?’ he was all for recycling it – I saved it and stuffed it in a box and haven’t brought it out in years.
I did it because I wanted to receive something like it… which just won’t happen. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me, just that he’s not crafty and in to paper and stickers like I am.
I totally didn’t think about it until we were engaged, but all of a sudden a lightbulb flipped in my head — “any gift I give him will be in MY house until the end of eternity.” Because Hubs doesn’t get rid of things easily. So I’ve started to be much more practical in my gift giving. Or I try to get something he’ll like that won’t bother me if I have to see it for the next 25 years.
We do get each other mushy cards, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to make mushy art for him. I save cutesy stuff for my girl friends.
Yes exactly. It’s much easier to give these kinds of gifts, I think, if they go in to someone else’s home. Unless you already know it’s going to go somewhere in your house (like, I gave my husband a giant map, but already knew where it would be hung), I’d be wary!
My dad, a big burly hunting construction worker guy, has scrapbooks. They are not like crazy modern scrapbooks but old school photo album style and he collects things like graduation announcements and awards. My mom would be the one to throw things out but he just takes them and glues them in and I love looking back on them. I guess the difference is that they are not things made just for him but general things you would like to look back on.
That’s really cool! I do photo books on shutterfly. I suppose that is my form of sentimental clutter. I always liked looking at people’s photos when I was younger. I hope my kids will, too. I don’t save actual news clippings, etc, but I will put that info in to my photo book (or take a photo of the items and put the photos in the book).
YES yes yes. I do pin some fun things like at times, but I hardly ever follow through and make them. And, if I did, I know I’d end up throwing them away afterward, which seems so wasteful (our apartment is far too small to store a bunch of things)! I moved almost every 2 years as a kid, so I kind of picked up the “we don’t save things we don’t need” thing. I don’t like to hold on to knick knacks and trinkets. Some people say I’m not sentimental, but I prefer to think I’m practical…
Oooh, same here. We moved a lot in my childhood, and as an adult I have also moved a great deal. As a result, I tend to be picky about what I save.
Funny that you posted this because just the other day, I found a notebook I made for my boyfriend in one of his desk drawers when I was looking for our passports. I wrote him a little letter every day for a few weeks – nothing special, just a little snapshot of our life together at the time. I don’t think he refers back to it frequently (lol) but I’m glad that he kept it somewhere safe. : )